When I first heard the rumor that Wizards were going to add a collectable card game element to Dungeons and Dragons in the form of “Fortune Cards”, I took it as just that, a rumor, not unlike Elvis and Sasquatch sightings. As evidence began to mount that pointed towards this becoming a reality I of course reacted as any well adjusted man-child would, with massive denial. The walls, as they say, came crashing down when I saw this advertisement. All I can say is why Wizards? Why? Why do you want to hurt me like this? Haven’t I always been loyal?
I was able to make peace with how you sold your miniatures (may they rest in peace), but this I cannot even begin to stomach, I actually threw up a little bit in my mouth when I read “constructing your deck” and “Dungeons and Dragons” in the same context. If this isn’t bad enough, it appears that Wizards is actually going to force these things upon people by possibly requiring them in live play events such as Encounters and LFR (although this is only rumor, so there is still some hope)
I won’t even go into the mechanical ridiculousness of these things. Do we really think that characters are so underpowered or in need of some help in 4th edition? Anyone who has DM’d in these char-op/min-max days could probably attest to the opposite being the case. So much so, that even Wizards updated the damage progressions on their monsters and totally revamped solos. Given this, it makes perfect sense to give characters extra benefits each round. Honestly, someone needs to take Wizards out back and smack some sense into them.
I want this cash grab to fail sooo badly. I want it to be an epic fail of such proportion that it requires a scapegoat. I want it to be such a fail that it makes “New Coke”, “Betamax”, and “HD dvd” look like massive successes. I have no idea what course Wizards has plotted in, but I am growing increasingly concerned and have officially strapped on my parachute. I desperately hope that I am being overly histrionic.